Saturday, January 17, 2009

Vintage Aykroyd

Dan Aykroyd is the only thing getting me through Seasons 1 & 2 of SNL.

Don't get me wrong I think most everyone in the cast is talented(especially Murray's debut in Season 2)...but there is a special charisma that Mr. Aykroyd brings to the screen.

I absolutely love him and I know he would be my absolute favorite improvisor.

He's the perfect balance: Great committed character work, great impressions, corky, great timing and delivery and a little bit weird and bizarre.

Even in a horrible sketch...*which Seasons 1&2 are full of, he shines above all the rest.

Maybe Sophia Coppola will write a screenplay with him in mind.

*I'm not meaning at all to desecrate vintage SNL. I recognize that at that time it was a one of a kind show and even though there were bad sketches it paved the way for future comedy.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Annoyance 104…Someone you don’t know taking food off your plate

Jarred was a personal trainer on the boat.

I say was because he was fired on New Years for making out with a passenger.

A few weeks ago I was in Blue Lagoon (the diner on the ship not the island with Brooke Shields) eating a

hamburger and fries.

Jarred and some other people came over to talk to people with me.

Jarred said “Oye mate” and then proceeded to eat 4 fries off my plate.

Ummmmmmm…..I don’t know you.

Why are you touching my food?

Why are you eating my food?


Annoyance 103……Small Talk in Elevators

I can sit and watch T.V. in silence for hours.

Sometimes Jeff and I are on our computers in complete silence for hours.

I don’t always have to be talking.

This unfortunately is not the case for most people.

I always know when I am about to get on an elevator on the boat that someone is going to say something to me.

Look….I am all about meeting new people and striking up conversations….but not on a 10 second elevator ride.

I am also not about mindless conversation.

For example the other day I entered the elevator and I pressed “4” and a man on the boat looked at me and said “Four huh?!”

And I said “Uh- huh”

And then he said “Wow four.”


Was he marveling at the number four? Or was it that I was going to four? What just happened?

I was on an elevator ride a few months ago with a couple all dressed up in formal wear.

We were traveling along when suddenly the man screamed.

It scared me to death.

His wife hit him and he said “Sorry it was just to darn quite in here!”

So you can’t be quite for 7 seconds?

The worst is if you wear any shirt with words on it.

I got on an elevator on the boat once with a shirt on that said “Arlington.”

A woman on with me immediately said “Ohhhhh Arlington…are you from Virginia?”

“No” I said

“You must be from Arlington Texas then?” She said

“No” I said

“Well what does it mean?” She said

“It’s a horse racing track in Illinois” I said

I then realized that underneath the word Arlington on my T-Shirt there was a huge picture of a horse racing track.

She was very disappointed that I was from neither Arlington, VA nor Arlington, TX.

I just want to travel on an elevator in silence.

It’s really not hard to do.

When I get on elevators on the boat now I cringe because I know eventually someone is going to say something to me that is mindless.

“Is that an ipod you got there?”


“Oh neat”

“Going to 12 huh?”



“Gym huh”

“No I am just wearing work out clothes”


“La Cantana ….what’s that?”

“I don’t know it’s, my Mom gave me this shirt”


Then the elevator dings and you get off and the person who initiated a conversation doesn’t even say “Bye”.

So what was the mindless conversation we just had all about?

Have you ever noticed how at company meetings it's always the guy who just sits patiently in silence who looks a million times smarter then the ones who ramble on and always have to be talking?

In improv sometimes you are in a big group scene and everyone is fighting and talking over each other but its always the guy doing silent object work in the back who looks the wisest.

There is power in silence.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Game Shows!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Game Shows.

Always have and always will.

I mainly love watching game shows with my little brother Bud.

I have the fondest memories of us coming home on the bus together and watching such favorites as I'm Telling, Legends of the Hidden Temple and Supermarket Sweep.

Those were our absolute favorite game shows.

I mean sure we liked Shop til you Drop, Guts and Wild and Crazy Kids....but just not as much.

For those of you who shockingly don't know anything about these shows.....allow me to enlighten you.

1.) I'm Telling: "The game show where kids tell it like it is..." This was me and Bud's absolute favorite game show. Basically siblings pair up and answer questions about the other while they wait in the ISOLATION ZONE. Bud and I used to crack up at how mad the brothers and sisters got at each other if they answered the question wrong. They were so quick to throw each other under the bus. There was one episode in particular where a brother guessed his sisters favorite movie was "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" then his adorable chubby sister answered "Sleeping Beauty." The brother began to throw a fit "What are you talking about Sarah? You watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory every day. GOSH"

2.) Legends of the Hidden Temple: This was me and Bud's favorite Nick game show. First of all I loved how the host Kirk Fogg would propel down from the sky in the opening to make it look as if he had been escavating the Andies mountains. In this physical game show teams of two had to cross a THE MOAT....first 4 teams across advanced to THE STEPS OF KNOWLEDGE where Olmac, remember that huge talking Aztec stone would read the kids a super boring story and then the kids had to answer questions about it......first 2 teams to reach the bottom of the steps advanced to THE TEMPLE GAMES....these were a variety of physical challenges that the two teams competed in...first team to win advanced to THE TEMPLE RUN...where the team members went in on seperate turns in search of 2 halves of a pendant.

My brother reminded me the other day of the time I tried to build the Temple Labryinth out of cardboard boxes in our living room. He said I did a good job and even let him run the coarse.

Me and Bud loved when the Temple Guards would jump out and scare the pants of those kids.

We also loved watching kids struggle to put together the monkey in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey room. It only consisted of 3 parts and yet no one could ever do it. We were always so confused by this.

3.) Supermarket Sweep: "Remember next time you're at the grocery store and you hear the beep, think of all the fun you could be having on SUPERMARKET SWEEP..."This game could be seen as Jeopardy for the average housewife. Teams of two had to answer questions about grocery store products in the ROUND ROBIN. Occasionally they had to run out in the store and find these products. The team who got the most points would then participate in the BIG SWEEP where they would run like mad people throughout the grocery store trying to load up on expensive items. The team with the highest total would advance to the BONUS SWEEP where they would have to find 3 products by following a trail of cleverly written clues. Oh how I loved watching these ladies run.