Saturday, December 27, 2008

My severe off and on obsession….Hello Kitty






















If Hello Kitty was a religion Japan would be its Israel.

I was first introduced to Hello Kitty in 4th grade when my cousin took me to a Hello Kitty store while I was visiting her in Texas.

The store took my breath away.

Pens, stationary, candy, wallets…all with adorable colors and characters.

I fell in love.

I quickly realized that Hello Kitty stores weren’t just anywhere.

Back then one could only find them in select big cities.

I only visited Texas once every couple of years and each time I would hope we would make a trip to the mall so I could go to the Hello Kitty Store.

---------------------------------

The first time I ever used the internet was in 6th grade when my friend Deana, a fellow Hello Kitty lover, got it at her house.

The first thing I ever looked up on the internet was “Hello Kitty Land” in quotes.

I had heard tall tales that there was an amusement park in Japan called Hello Kitty Land and that it was like Disneyland but just with Hello Kitty characters.

Deana and I waited for ages for the page to load….and sure enough there was a Hello Kitty Land.

I loved staring at the picture and imagining what kind of an enchanted place it would be.

--------------------------------------


Two years later my family and I moved to Japan and it was as if I had completed my Mecca to Hello Kitty Land .

I can not even begin to tell you how huge Hello Kitty is in Japan.

The U.S. will never import all the Hello Kitty merchandise the Japanese have to offer.

I mean sure now we have Hello Kitty waffle makers and T.V.’s

But in Japan they have Hello Kitty dishwashers and laundry machines.

Check out this Hello Kitty exhaust pipe.


I mean they just have EVERYTHING.

I spent a majority of my allowance in Japan on Hello Kitty.

In my parent's house I have 2 huge boxes of Hello Kitty tins that I have collected over the years.

----------------------------------------------------

After I moved back to the states, I sorta stopped loving Hello Kitty so much.

I would see it at Target and for a second my heart would leap but it was always such poor quality and I would think “I’ve lived among the Hello Kittians, I don’t need to desecrate my time in Japan by buying this cheap HK folder that would shame any giggling Japanese school girl."

So I stopped buying Hello Kitty stuff.

For good.

In college I would see girls with little Hello Kitty stuff here and there and my heart would pain and I would think “Maybe I’ll just go get a cool Hello Kitty cell phone holder.”

But then I would think “Really?” “Am I really about to get all into it again?” and I would change my mind.

------------------------------------------------------

This summer in NYC I stumbled across a Hello Kitty store in Time Square and made the mistake of entering.

Sure enough there was a ridiculously priced wallet that I fell in love with.

“No” I said “You are NOT about to buy a Hello Kitty wallet. Not now. Now after all you've been through. Jeannie you’ve been there you’ve done that. I mean I know that grown women like Hello Kitty but who’s to say its not the same as Hannah Montana or Dora the Explorer? Was I going to be a 25 year old woman still carrying a cartoon wallet?”

The answer is yes.

Jeff bought me the wallet for my birthday and I screamed with joy.

He knew I really wanted it.

I get compliments on it all the time.

Its just a nice big wallet and it makes me happy every time I look at it.

My brother sent me a pair of Hello Kitty pj’s for Christmas and I fully embraced them.

I am actually wearing them as we speak.

They’re adorable and they make me feel small.

I feel like I’m really young again and I love the feeling.

So, Hello Kitty and I are back on track.

I’m not going to go crazy like I did when I was younger.

No bed sheets or trash cans.

But a wallet…yes please.

An occasional pair of Hello Kitty pj’s…yes thank you very much.

Oh you adorable cat…what am I going to do with you ?


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Amazing Race




Jeff got me into the Amazing Race, a reality show about teams of 2 that set out on a race of the world for 1 million dollars.


I am obsessed with the Amazing Race and thanks to Tivo and DVR I never miss an episode.


The Amazing Race is so good that it wins the Emmy every year for “Best Reality T.V. Show.”


And boy does it deserve it.


I think I like the Amazing Race more than Survivor.


Phil, the host is so good.


My friend Curt and I love when he describes Detours and Roadblocks which are challenges along the way that contestants have to complete.


He always pops up out of the weirdest places.


Like the camera will have a shot of a well and Phil will pop out of it and be like “In this Roadblock challengers have to use an old fashion well to gather water for a village.”


He is so funny.


The Amazing Race all together is a very funny show because the teams make so many mistakes along the way.


Nobody ever read the clues right.


People always take taxis when they were supposed to walk on foot.


Its super funny and agonizing all at the same time.


I am torn between who I would want to be my partner.


My first choice would be Jeff…but then I think that me and my brother would make a good team and it would be fun to spend so much time together.


Then I think me and my friend Anne would be pretty hilarious to watch.


Gosh I just don’t know.


Jeff downloaded this past season for us to watch on the boat.


Poor Jeff it took so much work for him to get all those episodes and he says he will never do it again.


But me and Tim really enjoyed watching them.


Tim also enjoys the show.


He actually came up with the idea of him being on the show as a host that yells at people when they make mistakes.


Tim gets really frustrated when the contestants make so many mistakes.


“Obviously they should be looking on the internet for better flights right now. I mean COME ON,” screams Tim.


Sometimes Tim calls me and he doesn’t even say hi he just goes right into it “Jeannie, she’s getting pelted with

paint and grabbing all the clues when she only needs to grab one I MEAN COME ON.”


It always cracks me up.


------------------------------------


My all time favorite Amazing Race team is of course


Fantasia Barrino for Chrismas Please

Since this Wednesday is Christmas, the boat has decided to put on a Christmas show for the passengers.

James and I are performing a funny scene and the rest of the show is a lot of singing and dancing.

Today I noticed on the R/O (Running Order) that one of the songs was “When you Believe.”

I’m sure most of you remember that as the finale song from the season of American Idol that Fantasia won.


“Please tell me Fantasia is going to be on the ship this week.” I said today during rehearsal.

Can you imagine.

Fantasia flying in on a helicopter to perform on my cruise ship for Christmas.

Most people around me didn’t know who I was talking about.

I love Fantasia.

I know she’s crazy.

I mean did anyone see her performance on Idol last year?

HellO it was insane!

Youtube it.

It was really awful.

But I still love her.

Alas I was informed that the principle singers were singing the song “When you Believe” from the movie Prince of Egypt.

I just want Fantasia to know that on Christmas I will in the wings imagining her cutting loose and going crazy on the stardust theatre stage.

Fire Drill



Last Tuesday I got off the boat in St. Thomas and turned on my cell phone since I get service there.


It immediate started to ring.


I didn’t recognize the number but picked it up anyway.


“Hello?” I said.


It was an automated voice from my old office alerting me that there was a fire drill going on.


I immediately started laughing and told Jeff about it.


Then after a few minuets passed I started getting concerned.


I was the person in charge of fire drills….was the building unaware of my absence?


Who was going to clear everyone out?


Who was going to put yellow post-its on the doors so that the firemen would know those rooms had been

vacated?


I then went into full on Admin Mode.


I called my boss.


She said everything was fine and we had a good laugh about it.


After I hung up I started feeling all nostalgic about my old office.


“Jeff I miss my old office.” I said.


Jeff looked at me like I was crazy.


This is probable because of all the stories I used to tell him.


Don’t get me wrong I LOVE ADMIN.


I am actually obsessed with being an Office Manager.


I love it and I’m good at it.


But the job comes with a lot of unnecessary baggage.


You are basically viewed as a maid in everyone’s mind except fellow admin people.


I mean I was friends with everyone.


Some better than others but at any point in the day my not so good friends would ask me to do things

unimaginable.


For instance….


I could never be in the break room when anybody else was there because the complaints would be non-stop.


“Is there anyway we can make the diet coke colder.”


“We’re out of decaf hazelnut, I know we have 20 other varieties to choose from but I only drink that one =( (People would literally make a frowny face at me)”


“Can we get Splenda? And Equal? And Sweet n Low? And Raw Sugar? I use all of those”


“Ohhhhhhhh can we get an espresso machine?”


“You know what would be great if you could label all the condiments in the refrigerator then you could throw them out when they are bad?”


“Someone’s chocolate Atkins shake has been in there for months. It really bothers me. Can we throw it away?”


“Swedish fish….again =(


“I put 4 york peppermint patties in the freezer yesterday and they are gone do you know who ate them.”


“Can we get some fresh juice? Not that Snapple junk I mean like fresh squeezed juice?”


“You ordered pretzels….again =(


“Agh do we have to use Styrofoam cups they are so bad for the environment.” (Said person then throws out diet coke can instead of recycling it because when I told them to wash it out they said it takes too long.)


“Can you collect all the coke reward labels off all the soda for me? My boyfriend and I are saving up for a Wii or a trip to Cabo?”


“I’m pretty sure someone ate my Lean Cuisine because I specifically bought a Butternut Squash Ravioli and there’s only a Lemon Pepper Chicken one in there.”


“Is there anyway we could get healthier snacks.”


“Hi I know I am transferring offices but could you still collect the coke reward labels and mail them to me?”


“Can we get Starbucks coffee?”


“Can we get Dunkin Donut coffee?”


“Ohhhh can we set up like a chart where someone every Friday brings donuts and bagels for everyone?”


“I know you got granola bars but those are really healthy. Can we please get some healthy snacks?”


I mean the complaints were never ending.


And this is only like a quarter of the ones I used to get about the break-room.


Imagine how many more I got about the rest of the office and don’t even get me started about the bathroom…which wasn’t even under my jurisdiction!


But however crazy it was sometimes…I miss my old offices =(.


And even though I don’t work there anymore, I would still save everyone’s life in a fire emergency.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

3 Annoyances in Movies

I have always watched a lot of T.V

And I love watching movies.


That love has only increased since I arrived on this ship.


I watch T.V. on DVD and movies all day and night.


Some very good and some very bad.


I have thus come up with 3 things that I cannot see in movies ANYMORE.


I’m serious they need to be banned from screen plays everywhere.


I’m serious they need to be banned from screen plays everywhere.


1.) Foam from a cappuccino on an upper lip of a person who “doesn’t realize it. - I am so so sick of this happening in shows and movies. This is the 21st century “mustard on the side of the mouth” bit. I don’t know about you but I always know when there is something on my face. And furthermore I don’t think it’s cute when a partner, friend or love interest point it out to me. I get embarrassed. I have seen this lame scene in awful shows such as F.R.I.E.N.D.S (That’s right I just called that show awful) but I have also seen it in good movies like Notes on a Scandal. If memory recalls they even had it in this summer’s blockbuster “Sex in the City”. Remember Cythia Nixon has a huge and I mean HUGE dollop of foam on her nose and her husband just chuckles and she yells at him “What?” and then he points to her nose and it’s after that that her character calms down and realizes she needs to appreciate the simpler things in life?!???!?! No! I won’t stand for it. Stop this in films immediately.


2.) Man sees his Best Gal Pal in a wedding dress and suddenly realizes he loves her- Let me set the stage for you. Best Gal Pal asks Man Friend to go pick up wedding dress since for whatever reason every friend she has is busy and apparently it takes more than one person to pick up a dress for oneself. Man and Gal Pal laugh all the way to the dress show, laugh while picking up dress…what’s that she needs to try it on to makes sure it fits..fine they laugh through that to. They even crack casual jokes while she changes. But once she comes out in that wedding gown his smile slowly goes down and he says “I never should have let you go. I love you.” ?????? Really?????? I think he would have realized he loved her a long time ago. And what’s with all the jokes??? Stop cracking jokes in wedding dress shop scenes.


And finally….this is the most important one


3.) Men in their 30’s palling around with a 12 year old- Stop it!!!!! Stop it now!!!!! I am so tired of these movies about a man who is trying to find himself in his 30’s and befriends some neighborhood 12 year old boy or girl. I don’t know anyone who has a 12 year old friend. Let me give you an example. Ashton Kutcher in “What Happens in Vegas” he is having woman problems with Cameron Diaz and one day she comes to see his little league team play and as she walks about one of the children Sammy I think says “She’s not that bad coach.” And Cameron is like “What is she talking about?” Then Ashton gets a big smile on his face and says “I tell Sammy everything.” !?!????????!?! Excuse me. You discuss your personal life with a 12 year old girl on the little league team you coach. Umm the next scene should be the arrest of Ashton’s character…what else is he telling Sammy?


Tonight I asked Jeff “Jeff have you EVER had a friend who was 12 years old in your 30’s”


“Only Brett.” He responded


Case and Point.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Get Snuggie




I love a good infomercial.


This one has caused numerous discussions around the dinner table.


I love talking to Tim about the snuggie.


He said that if he knew it would get here in time he would totally get it for his secret santa.


Boy I hope he picked me!!!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Whitney Houston and American Idol



Even though I haven’t lived in the U.S. for 6 months, I know that Idol Season is about to begin.

You know what that means…..

Someone is going to sing a Whitney Houston song and no matter how good they sing it they will get the same criticism “It wasn’t as good as Whitney.”



It happens every year.

Is there really no one who can sing a Whitney song as good as Whitney?

I thought Syesha from last year did a pretty good job with her Whitney song and so did Kat McPhee from the year before.

And still they were told “Nope….it wasn’t nearly as good as Whitney.”

Really?!?!?!?!?!?!

I get it she has a great distinct voice but I mean so does pretty much every popular singer.

When an Idol contestant sings a Stevie Wonder song you never hear the judges say

“I mean you did good…but not as good as Stevie.”

Or for country week the girls always sing Martina McBride and you never hear the judges say

“You did o.k. but I just wish I could have heard Martina sing it herself she would have done it so much better.”

They ALWAYS say it about Whitney.

So let’s just agree to ban everyone from singing any Whitney Houston songs.

Now watch….she’s probably going to be a Celebrity Guest this year and ruin everything.

In Memory of Laundry

The boat has officially closed down the passenger laundry mats.


I am thus forced to do my laundry with 1500 crew members.


In honor of my time doing laundry in the passenger laundry mat I have included a short story.


Enjoy.


Annoyance 102….The phrase “It's Broken.”


“It’s Broken” is the most overused phrase in the world today.


A hot water machine failing to pour out hot water: “It’s broken.”


No actually it’s just out of hot water.


A computer freezing up for a moment: “Yep…Yep just what I thought its broken.”


A quick Ctrl Alt Delete and they're back in business.


Remote controls not changing channels: “Oh my gosh the whole t.v. system is broken.”


No it's just your inability to use an entertainment system.


An elevator hesitating for just a second: “It's broken we're stuck!”


Then the doors open.


The phrase “It's Broken” can usually be translated into “I don’t have a clue what I am doing or what I am talking

about.”


People on the boat love to say “It's Broken”


“This door's broken. How are we suppose to get in?”


I push the door instead of pull.


“Ohhhhhhhh”


People get into the Jacuzzis and notice no bubbles “ Oh my gosh the Jacuzzi is broken.”


I walk by and push the button for them.


The button that is very obviously shown and labeled.


“Ohhhhhh hehehehe we thought it was broken.”


I wish I could turn to them and say “No this is not a laughing matter.”


It’s a sad day when mankind uses phrases like “It's broken” instead of I don’t know using their brain and actually thinking.


My favorite example of this occurs every time I try and do my laundry on the ship.


There are 4 laundry rooms on the boat.


They are pretty large and you know look like normal laundry mats that you would find in Chicago.


Now I think we can all agree that laundry machines are a tad difficult to understand but you know once you read the buttons and directions on the machine they are easy to understand.


Well not so much for the passengers on the boat.


Since I sit and wait for my laundry to be done people love asking me a million questions.


I don’t mind helping the people who have at least attempted to give it a go on their own, but it’s the people who walk through the door asking questions that really really annoy me.


There was a lady about a month ago who literally opened the door of the laundry room and said “O.k. what’s going on, what am I doing here? What do I do?


I mean she said all of this while still standing in the doorway.


I quickly pretended to be immersed in my book.


She threw her stuff on the floor and glanced at the machine then at me “What do I do?”


I took a deep breath knowing I had a long road ahead of me and she said “Oh my gosh do you speak English?”


“Yes” I replied. “There are 8 buttons on the machine each one of them is a different type of wash. Just press the one you want.”


“What? Which one do I want?” She said.


“I don’t know” I said. “If you press them you can read what they say and decide.”


She stared at me blankly so I got up and read each one off to her.


“Yes normal wash that’s the one I want.” She told me.


So I pressed it for her and she loaded up her machine.


“Now what?” She said


“Just press the start button” I said.


She starred at me blankly.


So I once again got up and pressed the start button for her.


Then I opened up where she needed to pour in her detergent.


I sat back down and she just kept looking at the machine.


“Its not working.” She said


“It is” I reassured her. “Its just filling up with water. Believe me I know. They just take like 5 minuets to get started."


15 seconds pass.


“Its not filling up with water its broken. I can’t believe that it's broken.”


I get up and walk over to the machine.


“See there’s water filling up down there. Do you see.” I said


“Oh I guess so.” She said.


I sat back down.


45 seconds pass.


“Its not doing anything it's broken. I got the broken one.”


The machine starts rotating.


“Oh” She says. “Well how do I know when it’ll be done.” She asked


“There is an hour glass on the machine with a number next to it. That’s how many minuets are left.” I answered.


She starred at me blankly. I got up and went over to the machine.


“57 minuets” I said.


Then she smiled as happy as could be and talked a little bit about her kids and this and that.


Then she left.


For a few minutes I wondered how she would be able to get back to her room without my help.


I mean how does she exist?


How does she take care of herself and her kids if she couldn’t follow any of my instructions?


She stopped in periodically and walked over to her machine and asked me how many minuets she had left.


And I would get up and point to her where the timer is.


That was my way of telling her she could check these things on her own I wasn’t a magic laundry fairy who just magically knew the answers to her questions.


Sure the first time I used the laundry mat I was a little confused but I read all the directions and I survived.


Every week I meet people just like her in the laundry room.


Male and females of all ages.


Last week a little old lady came into the laundry room and before she could even open her mouth I got up and told her to pick a machine.


She put her clothes in it and I read her all the options then I started it for her and poured in some of my own laundry detergent and sent her on her way.


She was so happy and even gave me $2 for helping her out.


What’s interesting is that I firmly believe these folks can figure out these machines by themselves.


If I were to lock them in there they would figure it out.


It’s just that once they see an opportunity to ask someone else they do because they don’t want to think.


I sometimes catch myself doing the same thing.


I’ll be at a Fed Ex and not want to read through all the instructions so I’ll ask for help.


I’ve been trying really hard not to do things like that anymore.


Besides you get more satisfaction out of doing something by yourself.


When we don’t try to figure things out on our own the only thing we can accuse of being broken is us.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

All-Time Best Comedy T.V. Shows

People all over the world ask me "Jeannie...what T.V. shows do you watch?"

I then proceed to rattle off a few and my audiences stare at me dumbfounded.

They have never heard of the shows I speak of.

This makes me so so very sad.

I think that Jeff and I watch the most amazing T.V. shows ever made but it appears they have more of an underground following.

I remember sitting in my guidance counselors office in college and he asked me why I wanted to get into comedy and I said "I want middle America to know how good comedy can be."

Most shows on T.V. are awful.

Especially comedies.

You can see the joke coming from a mile away and its never funny.

But since we are so used to it we watch not knowing that there is smarter/ better comedy out there.

Now I don't really blame people.

I'm in the entertainment industry so I seek out a lot of different types of shows.

If my Mom comes home from work she's not going to be like "I'm gonna hop online and see what Ricky Gervais has got cookin in the next few months."

My point is that good comedy needs to be more accessible.

And by that I mean it needs to be on the big net works at the best time slots so people have no choice but to watch it and love it.

I will say that it breaks my heart when people say

"I tried to watch the British Office and I just didn't get it."

"Arrested Development moves to quickly..."

Well.....you have to give it a try.

Good shows are not set up in a typical fashion.

That's what makes them GOOD, UNIQUE, DIFFERENT.

When I first watched the British Office I was confused too.

It took me a while to even understand them!

But after 3 episodes...I got it.

Same with Arrested Development or Curb your Enthusiasm.

They have a lot of different camera work going on and often times they are shows "within" a show or stories with in a story.

Yes they are a bit complex....but so are we!

We have complex brains we can figure out these shows.

So here is a list of my favorite Comedy Shows.


1.) The Larry Sanders Show- I would start of your comedy education with this fantastic show. Its light years ahead of its time. Its about the inner workings of a late night comedy show similar to Johnny Carson show, Leno and Letterman. For part of the show they use an HD camera when you are watching the actors do the late night show. Then the camera switches to film for the behind the scene stuff.


2.) Fawlty Towers-Start off your British Comedy education with this classic T.V. show starring John Cleese. This show will give you a good understanding of British humor. Its about a man named Basil Fawlty who runs a hotel in Torque and he hates his customers. Its brilliant. Its important to start with Fawlty Towers because they reference it in so many other Britsh comedies.


3.) The Office- The brainchild of Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant. This show is a mock documentary about an office in Slough. A dark comedy about the inner workings of a typical office. You can see how The Larry Sanders show helped influence this masterful British Comedy.
There are only 2 seasons but then you also have to buy the Office Holiday Special which came out 2 years after the show ended. It made me cry thats how good it is!

4.) The Office..American version- This is the American version of the British show. The first few episodes aren't that good because the first 2 or 3 episodes mirror the British show. But around episode 4 the show starts to find its own voice. This show gets better season to season because the actors really begin to discovery who their characters are. If for nothing else watch this show for Steve Carell.

5.) Extras- another brainchild of Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant. This time Merchant appears onscreen and is brilliant. The show is about a man named Andy Millman who is an extra and trying to break it into the biz. Each episode features a big celebrity and shows Andy's interaction with then on and off the camera. Brilliant! Season 2 is even more amazing.

6.) Flight of the Conchords- the New Zealand folk song duo Bret and Jermaine are the biggest thing out of New Zealand since The Lord of the Rings. A joke they make alot on their show. Every episode is based on one of Bret and Jermaine's corky comedic folk songs. They are very sweet guys and the show is endearing. Co-stars Rhys Darby and Kristen Schaal are equally hilarious.

7.) Curb your Enthusiasm- this show follows around Larry David (the mastermind behind Seinfeld) playing a characature of himself in his typical daily life. Larry, much like George Costanza whom the character was based on, is very pesimistic and gets himself into the worst prediciments ever. The show is embarresing, humiliating and hilarious. It also features numerous stars playing hightened versions of themselves.

8.) Seinfeld- I'm sure most of you have caught an episode of this NBC hit. It had 9 seasons for crying out loud. Master minded by David and Seinfeld the show combines Seinfeld's observant humor about "nothing" and David's neuroses. We can all relate to at least one of the episodes.

9.) Arrested Development- this show is about the Bluths, a family that try as hard as they might always strikes out. Everyone on this show is amazing. The characters are insanely hilarious. A very dark comedy about a very dysfunctional family. Also stars Liza Minnelli in season 2.


and


10.) Da Ali G Show and Little Britain- In our number 10 slot I have included two separate British sketch shows. Ali G a.k.a. Borat a.k.a. Bruno a.k.a. brian child of Sacha Baron Cohen...is a show in which Cohen plays a bunch of crazy characters and interacts with regular people and politicians. Little Britain, brianchild of Matt Lucas and David Walliams is an irreverent sketch shows that is reminiscent of Monty Python.

Promise me you will try some of them out.

And please please stop watching:

1.) 2 and 1/2 men

2.) Reba

3.) Lipstick Jungle

No Obsessions for Obsession

I've never liked this perfume.

Notes on a Scandal.......

Notes on a Scandal comes on the crew channels quite frequently, which is surprising since the crew channels rarely puts on Oscar type movies.

I have seen this film more than 10 times.

And I love it.

I love Judi.

She cracks me up in this film.

My favorite lines are when Cate says:

Sheba: "I could go to jail for 2 years!!!!"

And Judi says

Barbara: "It'll Fly by!"

At dinner Jeff was like "How can you watch that movie over and over?"

I don't know.

I just love it!

Plus I watch anything good on the crew channel over and over and over.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Gossip Girl....Oh Brother!


I am ashamed to tell my readers that I have almost finished watching Season 1 of Gossip Girl!!!!

Its not my fault its the only new show on the crew channels.

I'm practically being forced into watching this modern day Dawson's Creek.

Do I like the show?????

I mean No......but is it better than Filipino movies...Yes!!!!!!!

I will say I enjoy Blake Lively.


I don't actually think she is a real actress I just think she is a sunny, beautiful teenager that directors ask "Can I just film you being yourself?" and she's like "Sure oh my gosh I was just on my way to my friends house to eat Doritos and watch T.V. its like our Friday night tradish"

I also like Chuck Bass. Mainly I like saying his name.

What's so funny is that everyone is talking about this show on the boat because there is nothing else to talk about.

Me and my friend the fabulous Stacey Ward McAdams talked about it for an hour this morning at breakfast and he was like "Why? Why are we talking about this horrible show?"

Then a couple hours later I ran into him at an internet cafe and very loudly said "Spotted at Barefoot Buddah Stacey Ward McAdams." And pretended I was Gossip Girl. He laughed pretty hard.

Don't worry the Seasons almost over and I promise I won't watch it anymore.

Until then...

XOXO,

Truth Girl

Cirque de Soleil




I am not flexible.


I can’t touch my toes.


I’ve never been able to do the splits or a cartwheel.


My body is just not flexible.


This doesn’t mean I’m not athletic.


I played sports my whole life and was even voted Most Athletic Sophomore year of High School.


I especially love Volleyball and Basketball.


But I have always been obsessed with friends of mine who are flexible and can do “Tricks”


Well about a month ago the boat started playing Cirque de Soleil shows on all the crew channels and I saw like 5 of them.


These shows are CHOCK FULL of TRICKS!!!!!!!


These people are amazing.


They can bend and fly and hold themselves up on ribbons.


And they never look tired…..ever!


One Woman does ballet on light bulbs. She is so light she doesn’t even break light bulbs.


Then there are these 3 Asian girls who catch and throw this wooden top looking thing.


One of them literally ran up the other ones back and stood on her shoulders.


How do you vertically run up another person’s back?!?!?!?!?!?!


I’m pretty sure I missed my calling.


What I love about improv is that I can pretend to be really good at gymnastics.


One night on the boat my suggestion was cartwheel and I kept throwing my body into one and my friend Tim would help me by lifting my legs up and positioning me into one then letting me go.


It was exhilarating.


When I was in 6th grade my Mom signed me up for a gymnastics class for beginners but all the girls already knew how to do basic tumbling passages.


The first thing the coach made us do was front handsprings.


?!?!?!?!?!


I mean I couldn’t even do a somersault and he wanted me to do a front handspring.


So I threw my body into one and landed SMACK with my back flat on the mat.


I saw my Mother watching me with wide eyes threw the glass.


I got up and kept doing them but then when I reached the end of the mat I ran out of the gym, never to return.


My Mom said if I wanted I could have private lessons.


Looking back it would have been fun to at least learn a cartwheel but gymnastics are just not my thing and that’s ok =)


I think you have to be born with it.


I have also made so many friends who are exactly like me.


My best friends Becca can’t do anything either.


I remember once we were at work, it was an accounting firm and we were by my reception desk trying to hold our legs up at our side like a cheerleading move and we were just laughing because we were so bad.


Then our friend Mindy walked by and IN HER WORK CLOTHES did a one handed cartwheel.


It was amazing.


My friends Sara and Anne and I used to have lots of sleepovers together and Anne and I would try to hold our legs up and do cheerleading moves and we would just tumble over and Sara was AMAZING at doing them and Anne and I would be like “NO FAIR”.


I love watching people do gymnastic tricks!


You are officially amazing in my book and I am a tiny bit jealous of you!

Hair Straighteners

Hair Straighteners are possible the most important invention in the post-modern world.


My poor Aunt used to straighten her hair with a real iron on an actually ironing board!


Look how far modern science has come.


Using a straightener is as close as you can get to having a professional stylist in your own home.


Unless you are really good at blowing out your own hair….which hardly anyone is good at.


It has changed the way we look in photos!


It has made us closer to looking like Celebrities….in fact it has equalized us!


Jennifer Aniston's got nothing on me now.


Now when I first went to college I had a white Revlon hair straighter that I thought was amazing.


Then I did a musical with a beautiful girl named Marley who also did beauty pageant and she turned me on to THE CHI.


I never knew that there were different levels of hair straightners!!!!!!!


The Chi is amazing.



Something about its gold ceramic plates it just locks in shine and it makes your hair so straight.


After a year or two with The Chi my Momma bought me A Turbo Chi.

Over 2” of solid goodness with a heat dial that I always keep on the highest level.


Well its been a while and I think its time I upgrade.


I give you THE GHD STRAIGHTNER.


This is the Rolex of hair straighteners and apparently is packaged as if it were a Gustav Klimt painting.


It looks like something Indiana Jones would be searching for in a temple.


Here are some of its features:

1.) It automatically turns off after 15 min.

2.) It knows how much heat to apply to each section.So if you straighten a front piece of hair and some of that piece gets in with the next clump you straighten it recognizes that that piece has already had heat applied

to it and it DOESN’T apply heat to it.

3.) It comes with an instruction video and can also do curls and loose waves.

I mean I want it to be my new best friend.


Its retailed at $240.


I know what you are thinking “But Jeannie your hair already looks straight.”


My hair is pretty straight but it has a wave to it and if I just blow dry it doesn’t look completely “Done” it looks


“I’m going to the grocery store” done but not “I have a show” done.


Ladies back me up here.


I’m addicted to my hair straightener. There’s no turning back.


Its definitely time for an upgrade.


It’s the most expensive thing on my amazon wish list.


But don’t worry I plan on getting it for myself and then giving my Mom my Turbo Chi.